Entry 8: My frustrations with religion
This week, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to talk about for this entry, and then last night something happened that made me realize exactly what the topic should be: my frustrations with religion.
Last night, I was with some friends at a wine bar. We were outside drinking nice wine, having good conversation, and enjoying ourselves. Then, all of a sudden, this younger guy—my guess is he was about 23—walked up to us and said, “Can I ask you a question?” My initial reaction was that I wasn’t going to like this conversation, and I was right. He asked us, “What would you say to God as to why you should be allowed to enter Heaven?”
Instantly, we were a little silent and gave each other looks of “What do we do?” We politely said we didn’t know, basically trying to end the conversation. He asked again, and one of my friends jokingly said, “Well, He shouldn’t let me in,” and the guy took that and ran with it. He continued on, saying that was the right answer and explaining how we’re not worthy of Heaven. I finally looked at him and said, “You have the wrong group of people,” and he responded, “I think I have the right group.”
Truthfully, at that point I don’t even remember what he was saying because I was in such disbelief that this was happening. I had had two glasses of wine and wanted to enjoy my evening, not be preached at. I told him I didn’t believe what he was saying, and he started to argue with me. Finally, I said, “You are the exact reason why I’m not going to believe what you’re saying. You’re coming up to a group of people on a Saturday night who are just trying to enjoy their evening, and you’re preaching to us.”
That’s when he finally got the hint to walk away, but as he did, he said he’d pray that I find God. I told him I didn’t need him to pray for me.
The guy finally left, and the surrounding tables told me they agreed with what I said and thought I handled it well. I really appreciated that because it made me realize I wasn’t alone in my thoughts and frustrations. Why did this guy think he was entitled to walk up to a group of strangers and preach to us? This was not the time or place. He didn’t know any of our beliefs. He knew nothing about me or my friends. I just couldn’t believe he thought it was acceptable.
And that is exactly where my frustrations with religion come from. I want to make it clear: I do not have any problems with religion or people being religious. I have many friends who are very strong in their faith, and I think that’s great. What I do have a problem with is making people feel bad for not having the same beliefs. There have been multiple instances where I’m walking around minding my business and hear people preaching that we’re going to hell for sinning, “Jesus saves,” or countless other things intended to shame and judge people who are simply existing.
I’ve never understood why people do that, because it goes against everything Jesus said. He said to love thy neighbor. Aren’t they sinning by shaming people? Or do they not view that as a sin because they claim they’re spreading the word of the Lord? Personally, I don’t think that’s the word of the Lord.
I grew up Catholic. I am baptized and completed my First Communion, Reconciliation, and Confirmation. Every Monday I had classes at church, and in middle school that changed to Sundays. I had church retreats, confessions, memorized prayers—everything. It took 16 years to complete this entire process. And what was the one thing that never changed in those 16 years? I didn’t want to do it. I never had the interest or desire. I begged my parents every week not to make me go and was always thankful when I had a conflict that kept me from going. It didn’t matter if I was 7 or 14, I didn’t want to do it.
I don’t really know what I believe when it comes to God, Heaven, or Hell. I’d like to think there is an afterlife, but I really don’t know. What I do know is that it’s not okay to pressure people to think the same as you. It’s not okay to tell them they’re going to hell because you disagree with how they’re living their life. Why can’t we all just do what we want and leave people alone? Why can’t I just sit and drink a glass of wine with friends? What is so wrong with that?
I hope that guy is alright, because choosing to spend your Saturday night as a twenty-something preaching to strangers and judging them makes me think he might be struggling with something. I don’t usually argue with people. I normally say “No thank you,” try to be kind, and wait for them to leave. But in this case, I couldn’t leave it alone. We had already told him no, and he wasn’t accepting that answer. The two glasses of wine gave me the confidence to speak up, but I could tell he thought he was superior to us. Nobody is better than anyone else. We are all the same, and nobody is superior. God created us as equals, and He loves us equally. I think religion can be a beautiful and positive thing, but I also think there are a lot of religious people who ruin it for others.
I don’t think I’ll ever go to church again. I probably haven’t been in five years, and I don’t miss it. I will always love and respect people who have religion in their lives. I see nothing wrong with it, and I know it’s a very important part of many of my friends’ lives. I respect that about them, and they respect that I don’t share the same beliefs. Just respect and love people. It’s really as easy as that.
Sincerely,
Courtney