Entry 2: 25 pieces of advice
Hello! Welcome to week 2 of “Sincerely, Courtney”!
Thank you to everyone who sent me such kind messages this week. I appreciate it so much!
Last summer, before my 25th birthday, I wrote down 25 pieces of advice. I credit my fully formed frontal lobe for most of this advice. I swear I woke up on my 25th birthday with a new outlook on things. Placebo effect? Highly likely, but that’s alright.
I’m a couple of months away from my 26th birthday, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the list of advice I had made. I’m going to write about only half of them this week and save the rest for next week, simply because it would be far too long to do all 25 at once. So here we go!
You don’t understand their behavior because you would never treat someone that way.
There have been so many times in my life where I’ve thought, “How could someone even say or do something like that?” Usually, it’s in the context of a man doing something heinous to a woman because… literally, what the hell. The reason I find it so mind‑boggling is because I know I would never treat someone badly. You won’t understand it, and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. It’s best to realize it’s not worth your time or brainpower. You’re a better person than they are—find comfort in that.
Trust your gut, always.
I feel like this is self‑explanatory. How many times in your life have your heart and brain disagreed? It’s such a hard thing to grasp because you know one answer is the “right” one, but there’s always the “what if.” When your brain and heart are dueling, your gut already knows the answer. For me, it’s usually the first thing I think of. Your intuition is almost always right, and it’s important to listen to what feels right for you.
When someone shows you their true colors, believe it.
I like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character and can usually tell immediately whether I like someone or not. Does that make me judgmental? Maybe. But I prefer to call it “being intuitive.” Please refer to advice #2: trust your gut, always.
Nobody wants to believe the worst in people—mostly because they don’t want to believe they were wrong in their initial judgment. But it’s important to realize that some people are just inherently shitty. When they show you who they truly are, believe it and move on. You don’t need people like that in your life.
Post the picture—you look great!
Post the damn photo!! I promise you look great, and only you are overanalyzing it. There have been so many times where I’ve taken photos I initially liked, stared at them too long, and suddenly hated them. Then I take 30 more that look exactly the same and end up posting the first one anyway.
We live in a world where we constantly look for instant gratification such as likes on Instagram, views on a story, etc. Am I guilty of checking? Absolutely. Honestly, I’m probably checking my story right now! But I think we check even more when it’s selfies or individual photos because we’re constantly making sure we still like the picture. Who cares!! You look great!!
Nobody is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about yourself.
This ties into the previous advice. We all nitpick ourselves. “Does this look weird?” “Does this go together?” “Can people tell I feel bloated in this shirt?” The answer is no. Mostly because they’re having the same thoughts about themselves.
Nobody is overanalyzing your behavior or appearance more than you are. We are our biggest critics.
When I was in college, I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson, and it truly shifted my mindset. I typically don’t like self‑help books because they feel performative and make you think you need to change when you really don’t. But this book was awesome. It teaches you not to give a shit about the superficial things that don’t matter. Honestly, I should read it again now that my frontal lobe is formed. (PS: friend me on GooIdreads for more book recs.)
You outgrow friendships, and that is okay.
This one is hard to accept, but once you do, you’ll feel better. I’ve never had what they call a “friendship breakup,” where something bad happens and ends the friendship. But I have had lots of friendships where we just outgrew each other—usually because we no longer went to the same school or lived in the same area.
Did anything happen? No. As time went on, the texts became less and less, and that’s okay. I’ve cherished every friendship I’ve ever had and still really like all those people. I’m sure if they texted me today, we could pick up right where we left off. But it’s weird to look back because you used to see or talk to them every day, and now you don’t even know what they do for work or where they live.
That friend was part of that season of your life, and now that season has passed. Maybe your paths will cross again, but it’s okay if they don’t.
Make your bed every morning.
This is annoying, but it will make you feel better. When my bed is made, I can go about my day feeling even the slightest bit put together. And there is no better feeling than getting into a made bed after a long day of work.
You don’t need a new outfit for every occasion.
I need to listen to my own advice on this, but it’s not as fun. This was a hard pill to swallow because I LOVE to shop. I probably open the Old Navy and Amazon apps five times a day just to scroll.
Whenever I get invited to something with a theme or a nice occasion, I see it as an opportunity to buy something new. But that’s how I end up with 15 dresses that have each been worn once. Are there times when buying something new is justified? Of course. But when a friend is having a party at their house and you’re staring at your closet thinking, “I have nothing to wear”—girl, yes you do. You look great in everything you own. Just pick something.
Time heals all.
This applies to anything. Whether you’re upset over a boy, grieving the loss of family member, or struggling with something personal, the one thing that truly heals is time. Whenever I’m upset, I tell myself, “I know I’ll be okay,” and it’s true—I just need time.
So if you’re upset about something and frustrated that you’re not over it yet, give yourself time. I promise that a week or two from now, you’ll feel better.
Wear comfortable shoes. I promise it’s not worth the blisters.
This is how I knew my frontal lobe had fully formed. I love a cute heel or sandal, but I HATE the pain that comes with them. One night, I wore tall boots from Amazon that weren’t comfortable, but I wanted to wear them anyway. Three hours later, my feet were on fire, and I could barely walk from the elevator to my apartment door—which is five feet away. I had blisters everywhere. It was simply not worth it. So this is your sign: wear comfortable shoes and save yourself the pain.
Focus on what you do have, not what you don’t.
Social media and influencer culture make us hyper‑aware of what we want and envy. Seeing influencers get sent on international trips for free and get paid for it will make anyone jealous. Who wouldn’t want that?
But it can also push people into a mindset of focusing only on what they lack instead of what they have. Is it good to have goals and ambitions? Obviously. But people can get stuck in what they’re missing, and it creates a negative cycle.
Take time to appreciate what you do have—a home, friends, family, pets, a partner, etc. That’s what really matters.
If you enjoy it, DO IT! Don’t let other people’s opinions stop you.
Again—WHO CARES!! Do what brings you joy! I was nervous about starting this blog because of what people might think, but then I realized… who cares!! I love to write, and I want to keep doing it. Don’t be afraid to do the things you enjoy. Life is too short.
I hope you take some of this advice and that it helps. If it doesn’t—well, I never claimed to be a professional. Next week I’ll share the rest of the advice I came up with. Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
Courtney